Day 5...

Day 4 wasn't so productive, although I did manage to pack more toys and all the legos...

Day 5 is looking up - I found nine more boxes stashed in the lab, the sun is shining, and I have a plan.  Books first, then more kitchen stuff.

(lurking in the back of all this is our storage closet... which I haven't mentioned, because it scares the bejeepers out of me.  There are boxes there that haven't been unpacked since our last move 4 years ago, and there are filing boxes full of papers that I'm 99% sure can be junked.  That 1% is going to force me to save them and go through them when I have more time. Blech.)

What does it mean when...

... after packing all the yarn and craft supplies that I come across two 5-drawer sterilite storage carts and one 8-drawer sterilite storage cart filled with yarn and craft supplies?  (hidden in plain sight, by the way)

Those puppies are lightweight... they're getting taped shut and moved that way.

Right?

Day 3 of Operation Bug Out 2013

So... I've packed I think eight boxes in total.  Mostly craft supplies and yarn, some vases, and starting in on the toys (train set today).  I then spent the afternoon out with a friend - a fellow Canadian who also wants to move home.

I do have to go into campus tomorrow to drop off our termination notice at daycare (where we were supposed to go to kindergarten next fall), and grab some more boxes... Hoping for a more productive afternoon after all that is done.

sigh.  how many more days?

I can't believe it's been so long...

I miss writing... I miss knitting... I miss being human.  Spending so much time in the lab is totally cramping my style ;)

Life has been seriously hectic here (hence the radio silence), going through the process of finding something post post-doc.  And while hope springs eternal, reality sucks.

I might as well use as many cliches as I can... so while we still have irons in the fire, we have to be realistic.  And the reality is, with a child, and with one spouse with a chronic condition, we cannot afford to stay in the US while unemployed.  Being Canadian affords us the opportunity to go where we feel safer and more secure.

Operation Bug-Out 2013 has commenced.

It's highly likely I'll have more time to post, because for the next two weeks, I'm packing up the house.  No long lab days... instead, it'll be long days at home, listening to Spotify and packing/sorting/throwing away.

If you subscribe to sending good thoughts to any particular deity, I would appreciate any... although, I know we're going to be OK.  People go through worse, with less, on a regular basis.  We're healthy (knock wood), and we have a place to go.

Cross your fingers folks, and hold on tight.

ETA: packed up three boxes of yarn tonight... and had 3 glasses of cabernet... I'm hoping to up my boxes per unit cabernet before this thing is finished...

A New Year's promise to myself

I've never been one for resolutions, since in my hands they last about as long as I take to think them up.  This year holds the first time in my adult life that I don't know what's coming next.  It's wide open with opportunity, or at least that's how I choose to see it.

Where will we be in six months?  I'm not exactly sure.  I am helping Hubby as best I can towards his goal of running his own lab and teaching his own students, and I'm good at that.  But there's only so much I can do for him, and he for me, to get us to the next step.

I do know that, amongst the chaos and upheaval, I want to keep on working towards being the best version of myself, with the knowledge that the person I am isn't necessarily the person I thought I would be.  I can't say it any more elegantly than that, so I am starting the year off with words written by a woman whose passion and determination I find frighteningly inspiring.  I'm only sorry that I didn't find her music and her art earlier in life.  I've hidden the two F-bombs after the break, but I won't apologize for them... they are so much part of the joy in this piece.

Thank you, Amanda Palmer, for giving me something to strive for - to allow myself to be the person I want to be.

In my mind
In a future five years from now...

I have no words that matter.

I've been off the grid... lab is busy, life is busy, Hubby didn't get that position so we're applying like crazy for others.

Then yesterday happened.  40 minutes away from where I sat.

And I am completely lost.

Every second that goes by, every second that I try to be normal so that N. doesn't get upset, every second that I breathe, I feel so completely undeserving of what I have.  What I still have.

I fell asleep in N.'s bed last night, long after he'd gone to sleep himself.  And it wasn't enough.  It'll never be enough.

I'm letting myself off the hook

NaBloPoMo FAIL in my house.  The stress of Hubby's interview, and planning for contingencies, has taken it completely out of me.  I'm not going to let myself feel guilty (if that's even possible).

This week - Thanksgiving at Hubby's boss's place, who generously invited all of us international orphans over to share in some turkey and goodness.  I'm making pie and probably something else, then I will throw myself headlong into Christmas preparations.  It's the only thing that'll keep me sane.

More soon, promise.

About to finish a hat :-)

So, I have a simple hat on the needles... with the stonehedge fiber mill ends that I bought during the I-91 shop hop back in June.  Turns out it goes well with my new wool jacket, so I figured it would be a good way to get the mojo back.

I can't wear just a plain touque, though, so I was thinking of what to put on to decorate and sass it up.  I consulted with a labmate/friend/newbie knitter, and she votes for pom-pom embellishment instead of crochet flower, and I have to agree.  Now that I've cleaned up after the sleeping 4-year-old hurricane, I think I'll try and finish it before the evening is out.  Could it be I might have photos by the end of this week?!  I'm ridiculously excited :-)

Free Saturday...

Not much to report... we spent the day downtown, buying groceries at the co-op and doing labwork.  I started a hat a few days ago, and it's about 2/3 done, which is the most knitting I've done in weeks.  With a bit of luck it'll be done by next Friday.

In non-knitting news, turns out Hubby's interview will be over skype, since this particular location isn't near a major airport.  Should be very interesting :-)

And with that, I'll admit that the laundry from yesterday is still not completely folded, so off I go.

TGIF

Whelp, that was an interesting week... post-hurricane puttering around, dealing with Enterprise rent-a-car (who, by the way, screwed us and management still hasn't gotten back to me, but that's a story for another day), and getting this crazy email about a potential job interview.  So, I will divert to the pre-written prompts yet again, which are hilariously apropos:

Friday, November 9, 2012
If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?

One thing to change about my life... that's tough, because I think the list covers several pages.  My don't-think-about-it gut reaction: I would stop being so anxious about everything and just focus on getting us to the next step.   Hubby will have a skype interview at the end of next week or the beginning of the following... and I'm trying not to get excited, anxious, stressed, or otherwise worked up.  It's not going too well, though.  I want to be hopeful without setting my heart on it, but I want to be prepared for all contingencies.  I need back-up plans. I need front-up plans.  I need plans.

But right now, I just need to focus on just what's in front of me.  Laundry to fold, paint and glitter to clean up (craft-night for the kiddo), bedtime for N., and dinner.  Tomorrow, I'll do tomorrow.

The writing prompt for today is:

kind of hilarious considering Hubby's interview coming up.

If you could have any job (and instantly have the training and qualifications to do it), which job would you want?

I honestly don't know how to answer that.  I love being a lab manager/research scientist, and I pretty much have the qualifications to do that.  I love knitting/crochet/crafting, and I suppose if I needed business training to open up a store or run classes, that would fit.  The thing is, I do both of those things now, even though I might not get paid for them.

The only other thing I think I might've been good at is being a clinical psychologist.  Based on my status within the family and sometimes the lab as the 'Dr Phil' type of the group, and doing a fairly good job with it, I often wonder if that's the education path I should've taken.

The question remains will I be able to do any or all of them when we settle in our next stage...

Missed it by mere moments

Wednesday's news, ever so slightly late : Hubby got an email that they want to invite him for an interview at a university he applied to a couple of months ago.

Holy crap.

We've been discussing it non-stop since the email came through, and it's hard to focus on anything else.  I'm not sure if I"ll survive the blogging month, but maybe it's a sign that I need to make an effort, if only to keep a little bit of sanity.

Eeep.

Monday NaBloPoMo fail

The child was using every last bit of energy, and when he fell asleep I had to mentally prepare for how I'm going to deal with a school situation... there's a bully who seems to move from target to target in the class; N. has been spared, but I watched this child punch another kid, taunt him, and then smirk when he got away with it.

Parenting is such a trip.

Free day...

Sigh.  it's been a good/bad day, and I know I have no real reason to kvetch, but the time change always kicks my ass.

We had a second day of shopping/errands, since the car rental isn't due back until tomorrow... it started off great, and ended up crazy.  N. was golden til right after lunch, when he pitched fits.  After a calm-down, and apologies, he was better and wanted to come to the supermarket with me... which started off great (again) and ended up in tears.  He wanted treats, he wanted to run (in a parking lot? I think not), and he wanted to pump gas with Daddy.  He got none of these, and cried and cried.

After coming home, and feeding the now tired child, Hubby got ready to run into the lab to set some things up for tomorrow. While looking through his computer, he discovered that in his haste to back up files before the hurricane, he somehow managed to overwrite his key master data file.  The major project that's been three years in the making.  I figured there was a copy somewhere between dropbox, google cloud, thumb drives, etc., even if it was an older version, but for about 45 minutes it was crisis mode.  The solution was found in *my* gmail account, where he'd emailed me the file a few weeks ago so I could help with some calculations.

So, after determining that was, in fact, OK, I shoo'ed him out of the house, and proceeded to load and run the dishwasher, set a chicken to roasting, and put away the rest of the groceries.  I feel like it's 9pm and time to crash, but it's barely 6:00.  I don't know whether to be thankful that I have a few extra hours or sad that it's not, in fact, time for bed yet.

Tomorrow, however, is another day.  Time to be optimistic about the new week.  Wheeeee *pffffffffft*.  (that's me with noisemakers and streamers, can't you tell?)

;-)

According to my unofficial official prompt list for NaBloPoMo...

.. today is a free day.  I exercised that freedom by spending the day shopping and driving around with my two boys.  We rented a car, picked up the annual holiday photos that we had done a couple of weeks ago, and chipped away at the to-do-and-to-buy for Christmas list.  My treat to myself was some fancy nailpolishes to head into the festive season, including a matte topcoat to play with...

And I'm realizing that free day is making me sound very shallow, which makes me very sad.  It's just been a long week, I guess.  We were relatively unaffected by the hurricane, but everyone around us is picking up the pieces.  I crave routine, and it's not here right now.  Since the time change is all but impossible to impose on a four year old (no extra hour of sleep for me), I'm going to crawl into bed with the sleeping four year old while Hubby finishes up some computer work.  It's weeks like this that make me realize everyone needs more snuggle time with their kids.

<3

Day 2

Today's is an easy one...

Friday, November 2, 2012
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

Anywhere?  Anywhere at all?  Then I choose to go as near to my family as I can.

Living 900 miles away, with no easy flight routes, makes visiting my parents, hubby's mom, and my siblings, very difficult.  I've come to realize that every time we get together it's precious.  Plus, being an academic heading into the next phase, it's difficult to dictate where you want to go.  I just hope that wherever it is that we settle, it's close enough to my family that I can see them more often, but just far enough away that I can pretend to be independent once in a while ;-)

NaBloPoMo?

A little post-hurricane push back into blogging, methinks.  I'd been debating this, and I found a list of topic prompts here, so I figure, why not give it a try.

Today's prompt is:
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Tell us your favourite quotation and why.

So, I will have at it.  My favourite quotation lately has been one from one of my favourite authors:
"There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge." ~ Isaac Asimov

This quote is sourced many years ago, but it's just as, if not more, relevant today.  As a scientist, I find myself railing against public opinion... which can sometimes be well informed, but sometimes one single erroneous position can cause rampant misinformation.  Not to open a can of worms, but the causes of autism, whether to get your flu shot, the actual existence of global warming... to name a few.  One thing that people don't often think of is that doing research isn't often clear-cut.  And if you don't know how to do research, chances are you'll get the wrong answer.

I'm not looking for a fight... I'm just hoping people will learn to discern between credible sources and quacks, between sensationalized news and facts.  I'd be remiss in my job if I didn't encourage it :-)

And with that, I'm off to bake cinnamon rolls for the teachers at N.'s school... it's my turn to provide breakfast for the monthly staff meeting, and I personally would rather fresh baked cinnamon rolls than bagels and flatbread from the donut shop ;-)

Still here

Head above water to say we've been largely spared with this hurricane as compared to last year's bout with Irene.  But my heart goes out to friends in NY and NJ who are devastated.  I'm praying that everyone is safe...

And three weeks turns into nearly six...

blub blub blub that's me coming back from the edges of the earth, popping my head above water to check in.

Strangely little to report of these past days... Hubby is going to a conference which hopefully will be a great networking opportunity, and we've been spending our time getting ready for that - he's giving a talk (which is pretty cool), so there are slides to perfect.  He was going to give a poster too, but that got pulled at the last second (conference organizers decided it was too late for additional entrants).  We'll have to bach' it for a few days, N. and I, but it'll be OK.

I've done a little bit of knit/crochet, but not nearly enough to keep me sane, hence the disappearance.  Some pattern testing, and a little bit on my second stripe study, but nothing I can really show as progress.  Just slogging along, convincing myself it's in the forward direction.

One nice thing that happened - a surprise visit from my dad :-)  After two weeks home at Christmas, and then the wedding in June, I think the grandparents are feeling a little N.-time withdrawal.  We had him here for a little over a week, and managed to get some fun stuff in - first movie (3D showing of Finding Nemo), and first Cosmic Bowling (second bowling adventure - the first was a lab outing a few months ago).  All in all, a fun time, but not very conducive to the fiber arts.  Oh, with the exception of one thing - did I mention that my mother, who has been knitting for about 50 years, managed to throw my dad's alpaca hat into the washer and dryer? (Yes, she knows better, and yes, she feels like an idiot.)  I managed to finish a replacement and give it to him while he was here - it amounted to "Surprise, Mom shrunk your hat, here's a new one!" :-)

And with that, I'll sign off again... hopefully to be back before another three-to-six weeks pass by!

Three weeks? Is that even possible?

Here I go again, with the radio silence... I always tell myself that I won't let this much time go by between posts, and *blink blink* it's gone.  I remember that I feel better when I write (even if I don't hit publish) and then I forget again.

Life's been getting in the way, some good and some bad.  We had a wonderful weekend in NH for Hubby's cousin's little girl's birthday (how's that for nested possessives?)... I baked the birthday cake upon request, and will find the photos for FO Friday.  I've had several shopping-type trips with some generous car-owning friends (former labmates and/or their spouses), and did pick up some crafter cotton for dishcloths and flannel for kids projects at a really good sale.  But I've been almost completely unproductive crafty-wise... a bunch of false starts, none photographed, all sitting around.  The lab is in a bit of upheaval - a couple of new (amazing!) grad students, but one of the girls that graduated had her last day yesterday.  She's lived half a block away from us for four years, and is a newbie knitter but longtime enthusiast.  We ride the bus together (or at least, we did), and she's one of the first people that I was able to call my friend down here.  She's the second good friend to move away this summer (boo), another one will be heading out at the end of this month, and I realized that it's no easier to have your friends move away when you're 34 than when you're 15.  I just don't have the luxury of putting Boyz-II-Men on my Walkman and wallowing for weeks.

I also can't wallow, because I know it's not the end of the world, and worse things could happen.  My uncle, who has been fighting for his life by inches for the last few years, finally lost his battle.  I hesitate to write about this, because my mom's family is notoriously private, but I feel like I want to honour him and what he did.  My aunt and uncle, living across the country from our side of the family, adopted two children, one nearly 20 years ago, one 15 years ago.  These children both had rough starts to life, including being born drug addicted.  F. & J. took them in, knowing what it meant in terms of struggle, and while life wasn't (and isn't) easy for them, these kids now know what it means to be loved by a forever mom and dad.

Mom on the left, F., and a family friend A. on the right.

F. at high school graduation

WniP Wednesday

That's Works Not In Progress... because I can't seem to shake the schlumps out of my head this past week and pick up needle or hook.  I've done a little bit on my second stripe study, but the wedges are getting bigger and going slower.  I also picked up the 2x2 rib scarf that goes with my brother's hat, but it lasted about 10 minutes, and that does nothing to pull one out of a rut :-)

I've done a bit more baking lately, though, which surprises me considering the fact that I swore off sweets after making the second wedding cake.  I tried (and succeeded!) at making baklava (ohmygodwasitgood), and Hubby's supervisor has me on retainer to do all special occasion baking for the lab.  This week, one of the grad students is turning 26, and he loves peanut butter, so I made chocolate cake with peanut butter buttercream, and PB bars.  The cake recipe is here, the frosting here, and together, they're the best EVER.

I'm gearing up for a little family road trip - one of our cousins has a little girl turning two, so it's party time for us.  Maybe a couple of hours in a car will cure my knitting blues.

FO Friday

A quick one since I'm at work...

Draco, the test dragon :-)  Pattern here.

It's a choose-your-own-adventure sort of thing, where you decide what kinds of features you want on your dragon - big or small horns, ears, frills, scales or a whip-tail.  I picked ears, small horns, scales and a standard tail :-)

As always, check out Tami's Amis for more amazing FOs :-)

FO Friday

Quick post - here's the trim from my niece's flowergirl dress... size 10 crochet cotton with a 1.65mm steel hook. Photos courtesy of my SIL, taken the week after the wedding once things had calmed down. And, off I go!

*zoom*







As always, check out Tami's Amis for more amazing FOs :-)

Freedom! (tomorrow)

:)  Hubby stayed home today, with the exception of a quick jaunt to the lab to start up some cultures, and we are celebrating the 4th in our own quiet way - the boys are outside playing in the backyard, and I'm straightening up the fridge.

I've decided that N. is going back to preschool tomorrow, hence my upcoming freedom.  He's still feeling great, his blisters are fading, and he's starting to strut around here like the king of England, demanding this and that whenever it strikes his fancy.  I can see it sailing downhill, so back to the routine it is.  I'm hoping to even be bad tomorrow and sneak to the cinema to catch a flick over lunchtime, but I'm stuck between a documentary on autism and OCD and (ahem) Magic Mike.  I had a friend see the latter, and she complained that there was too much profanity within the first few minutes that it turned her off; I figure, a movie about male strippers that's (of course) rated R - you expect a little potty language.  Rotten Tomatoes has it hovering somewhere around 73% fresh, and I think after a few days cooped up in here, I deserve a little fun ;-)  In any event, I will go somewhere that has a cold drink and AC and take my knitting.

No pics for WiP Weds this week - the laptop was in the shop because of an unfortunate milk-spill, and I haven't downloaded the card since I got it back.  I've been working a little on my second stripe study, and finished a test-crochet (hopefully will have that one up on Friday)...

a slightly calmer day (I hope)

N. slept well again last night, although was up early (it's a trend since coming home from the wedding).  He's in a great mood, although the rash is only fading slightly on his hands and feet.  The baboon's arse, a common additional site, would be hilarious if it wasn't so cringe-inducing.  Luckily he still seems to be feeling absolutely no pain or itch.

I'm feeling more zen about the whole dis-invite thing, too; one family coming to the BBQ on Tuesday basically said, "bring it on, our kids have had EVERYTHING :)", but another couple are visiting a branch of their family later in the week that they've never met before, including some small children, and are feeling a little paranoid.  I purposely pulled us out of a second party on Wednesday, because I realized that I'm not sure I've ever had it, and I could be incubating right now and not know it.  What I do know for sure is that there'll be a 3-month old at the party on Weds, and I'd never forgive myself if I got a tiny baby sick.

I am not, however, staying in the house.  N. isn't contagious anymore, and as a (mostly responsible) adult, I can keep myself from sneezing on people, so walking through the neighborhood to keep my sanity is a must. Then cleaning, knitting, cleaning, and waiting for my grocery delivery for the rest of the day.