Saturday, December 15, 2012

I have no words that matter.

I've been off the grid... lab is busy, life is busy, Hubby didn't get that position so we're applying like crazy for others.

Then yesterday happened.  40 minutes away from where I sat.

And I am completely lost.

Every second that goes by, every second that I try to be normal so that N. doesn't get upset, every second that I breathe, I feel so completely undeserving of what I have.  What I still have.

I fell asleep in N.'s bed last night, long after he'd gone to sleep himself.  And it wasn't enough.  It'll never be enough.