I've been off the grid... lab is busy, life is busy, Hubby didn't get that position so we're applying like crazy for others.
Then yesterday happened. 40 minutes away from where I sat.
And I am completely lost.
Every second that goes by, every second that I try to be normal so that N. doesn't get upset, every second that I breathe, I feel so completely undeserving of what I have. What I still have.
I fell asleep in N.'s bed last night, long after he'd gone to sleep himself. And it wasn't enough. It'll never be enough.