Sunday, May 2, 2010

Back to the status quo

Mom arrived safely back last night, Hubby is off returning our rental car, and N. is playing with his trucks and watching his Thomas DVD... It's warm out, and we're going for a walk this morning, which means the routine is close to being reestablished.

I've been feeling really selfish and bitter lately, and I know I'm being unreasonable. We live 1000 miles away from the rest of the family (both sides), and they all live far away from major airports. Visits are an adventure, whether we fly or drive. This time it was 8 months since we'd set eyes on anyone in the family in person. In our day-to-day life it doesn't bother me all that much - I have the best kid in the world, the best husband, and we're fortunate to have jobs we enjoy and we make ends meet. It just sucks that a really great visit throws me out of gear. It reminds me that I don't have the luxury to pack up and drive a couple of hours to visit grandparents, or have them visit me, on average of once every month or so like everyone else I know. And it makes me so bitter that I get into this mindset that no one else appreciates what they have, just because a) I don't have it and b) they complain about their stressful lives. I can't ask my mom to come up for a weekend when I'm busy with work just to watch N. I can't drive home for my birthday, for N.'s birthday, for Canada Day. I don't have other moms I network with around here, and on days off, I have to pick up the slack.

Then I remember what I do have:
  • The best-behaved, most adorable child.
  • A spot for him in one of the best daycare centers in New England (that we actually can afford at the moment).
  • A husband who is an equal partner in everything around here.
  • A nice apartment in a safe area.
  • An increasing friendship with the girls in Hubby's lab.
  • Knit nights to look forward to.
  • An offer to babysit from one of those labmates - someone we can trust - so we can get out for a date night sometime soon (thanks, K!)
  • A safe place for my grandmother to live, where they understand Alzheimers, and have 24-hour care.
  • Hobbies that I love, and new ones to try... and enough of a stash now that I shouldn't get bored ;-)
Today I'm grateful, and humble. And I'm done complaining for a good long while!

1 comment:

Bezzie said...

EEE! He's such a big boy!!!
Amen to the rest of it! I love it when people whine about having to spend Thanksgiving/Christmas with their relatives. Wah, cry me a damn river. And try raising kids w/o an instant grandma/grandpa/aunt/uncle/etc. babysitter living nearby!