Thursday, March 22, 2007

It's odd, really.

I'm doing pretty good so far today (knock on wood). I've managed to fill in some of the gaps that the boss pointed out, and in doing so cranked out another page. I'm even going to reward myself with a walk down the hill to mail a card to Hubby and maybe drop in to the grocery store for a snack.

The funny part is, even though I feel Ok, and am keeping myself focussed on a single task at a time, I'm feeling rather emotional.

The blue jays are watching me through the window, and I'm sure they think I'm crazier than most humans - I pace around the room, doing the "make-up cry" - you know the one, where you wave your hands to cool off your face, but you look like you're trying to dry some imaginary nailpolish, and you've got your eyes turned up to the ceiling, because somehow that manages to keep the tears from starting and ruining your mascara.

Whether I loved or hated my projects, whether I loved or hated any of my lab mates (I plead the fifth), whether or not it's all worth it - this has been my life, and this city my home, for over 10 years (not all grad school, thank heavens). It's familiar, and that's comforting, but it's not comfortable anymore, and I know it's time to move on.

And that, my friends, is scary.

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